Moonlight
A misty fog covers the fields and yet the moonlight still filters through the fog and illuminates the night with a gentle glow. I linger long at the window and wonder at the beauty of the night. The cold stillness and quiet and the white light of the moon fill the night with beauty and wonder.
Behind me the darkness of the room is lit with red and gold reflections of light that dance on the walls and bounce across the floor. The room is lit by the fire that warms it- a stark contrast to the white light of the winter night. The flickering light seems playful and warm, but my eyes are drawn back to the cold window and the mesmerizing scene of bare and silent branches enshrined in wispy fog. It is winter – short days, long dark nights, and silence.
Stumbling in the Dark
It is here in the silence that I wrestle with the emptiness. In the bright light of day, it is easy to see all the blessings which surround me, but in the dark I often lose my way. When the night falls and the fog rolls in, it is far more difficult to see. It is here that I stumble on uneven ground and cry out to the silence, “Where do I place my feet? Where should my next step fall?” I listen, but the only sound is the crackle of the fire behind me, and I feel lost in the silence. I wonder aloud, “Am I going anywhere at all?”
In these early days of a new year, perhaps you find yourself in a season of grief or a season of unexpected change. While others are setting goals and looking ahead with eager anticipation to a new year full of hope and promise, you may feel as though you’re walking through a dark night of the soul and can only muster enough strength for each new day. Perhaps the year ahead looks bleak as you care for a loved one with a terminal illness or worry about the impact of cutbacks on your job or pay. Perhaps your holiday season was full of strife, and you wonder how your marriage will last another year. I have been in those winter seasons, and I too have had dark nights without direction.
Remembering
Sometimes it is difficult in the middle of winter to remember the bright colors of spring, the warmth of sun on your face and bare arms, the fragrant smell of lilac and hyacinth, and the musical chatter of birds. But spring will come again, the days will get longer, and the sunshine will eventually bring warmth. Seasons pass and so do dark nights and grief. Sometimes instead of a new year resolution or goal, we must simply remind ourselves that this too shall pass.
And as I stare out into the winter night, I am also reminded by the sparkling frozen ground illuminated by the moonlight – moonlight that finds its way through the fog – that God has not forgotten the night. The one who fills the day with sunshine and warmth, also gave light to the night. When we lose our way, we need only look up and if we wait for the fog to lift, we will find our navigation is suddenly clearly visible.
Reminders Not Resolutions
So, if this new year finds you in a difficult season, be patient, the fog will lift, and morning will eventually dawn and with it, a new day, and a new season. New seasons do not always adhere to the calendar, and new goals and resolutions need not always be made with the turning of a calendar. Perhaps this year, instead of a resolution, you simply need a reminder that this too will pass.
I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; your Protector will not slumber. Behold, the Protector of Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is the shade on your right hand. The sun will not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will guard you from all evil; He will preserve your soul. The LORD will watch over your coming and going, both now and forevermore. ~ Psalm 121
Note:
I wrote this post several years ago during a season of grief and change. Much like the season I find myself in today, it contained both blessings and heartache. Sometimes when our life seems full of goodness and there is much in which to rejoice, we feel guilty if we admit that there is also grief. But happiness and hurt can often occupy the same season, and especially if it is combined with changes in our lives beyond our control such as illness and death or relationships we’re powerless to mend, it can leave us wondering where to go next and how to move forward. This post was a reminder to me – and I hope a reminder to you – that even when we don’t know where to go next, we have a God who provides light for the night. He is our help and our guide.
May your New Year be blessed!